New Blog address

Drunken Philosopher has moved

Greatest website knock off of all time?

http://infibeam.com/

I love it. Also check out the Kindle ripoff and the pictures of people enjoying using their Pi.

Public Access Christian Show prank

Karate Kid

Not sure how I feel about this. It is a ridiculous idea, but maybe it will not be that bad. I mean who really watches the original seriously anyway?

Ian Halperin on Jennifer Aniston

Yesterday, Holywood author Ian Halperin called in to the "Opie and Anthony Show". Ian comes across as a giant jerk but at the end of the day he seems to always be right about things. During this call Opie told Ian that he has a theory that Jennifer Aniston cannot keep a man due to what I will call "smelly nether regions". This claim has long been a theory of Opie's, and according to Ian Helperin it is true. He claims it is a well known rumor in Hollywood that Jennifer is not exactly immaculately kept. In Ian's words, "Apparently Vince Vaughn ran for his life the second he went down on her". Well there you have it people.

1/22 Will forever be known as Gary Matthews Day

Never forget this fellow Mets fans, our savior has arrived.

iPhone fans are weird

Technology is really simple to me. I like the philosophy of Google, I don't like the philosophy of Apple, and I do not like the philosophy of Microsoft, but I rely on my Microsoft knowledge for my livelyhood so I will always side with Microsoft. Those are my biases, but I believe they are biases for good reason. Google is a company for the people bla bla bla, you know all that garbage.

What I do not again is how people are so loyal to Apple because of the iPhone. At the end of the day I like Google products because they are an innovative company that I like, but I know for every awesome Android phone that comes out, there will be another awesome iPhone or Windows mobile phone, or WebOS phone. That is the reality of technology!! Apple did not invent the touch screen, they did not invent the app, and they did not invent GPS. Sure, the iPhone is the first widely accepted smart phone, but what is so special about it??

Even tech blogs like Engadget ripped apart the Nexus One for no real apparent reason. Everyone is so loyal to their technology and it is bizarre to me. At the end of the day, companies are using the same set of available technologies and creating great new technology, so why do we become so enchanted with the technology we own? I guess it is to justify our purchases and initial allegiances. I hate to break it to you, but the Apple apps are no more special than the Android apps and vise versa. As a fan of Android, I would like to think that they will create an app that will lighten up the world, but that is probably not the case. I am ok with Google existing to keep Apple and other companies honest, and I wish everyone would see why that is really important.

Hilarious Call of Duty video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ6LSQ6xWcc

They will not let me embed it, but click, the guy is great.

NBA Jam - Western Conference

Ok, finally my lazy ass is getting to the Western Conference. There are less pathetic examples but still a decent amount.

LaPhonso Ellis: I have no idea why he was in NBA Jam either. Poor Mutombo for having him as a teammate in the game. Also poor Mutombo for being a defensive specialist in an Arcade style basketball game. His defense did not transfer over well to NBA Jam to say the least.

Vernon Maxwell: 1995: In a game at Portland on February 6, he ran into the stands to punch a fan, later claiming the fan had heckled him over his wife's miscarriage. The NBA suspended him for 10 games and fined him $20,000.[4]

1997: Maxwell was ordered to pay a woman $592,000 for knowingly infecting her with herpes.[6]

Wayman Tisdale Ended an era when people could be named Wayman Tisdale.

Christian Laettner and Chuck Person: I feel bad including them because they were not that bad, but it just goes to show how long the Timberwolves have been incompetent. Kevin Garnett is a saint for putting up with a franchise that has always strived to be below average for their entire history. Christian Laettner does win the award for most successful white guy whose game did not translate over to the the NBA.

Detlef Schrempf: I could not find a video of Detlef talking in the 90's, but believe me it was hilarious. He has a better grasp of english now so those videos were disappointing. Also as a child I was obsessed with Detlef because of NBA Jam. There was something really cool about his foreigness and the fact he never missed 3's in the game. Him and Chris Mullin were my favorite players in the game. I could relate to their lack of athleticism and 3 point shooting ability.

That is all I have, the Western Conference sucked sorry to leave you in suspense for a week and a half for that shit.

Are the Bengals genius? Or are the Jets that good?

Ok, just a quick thought. I was thinking about the 1st half of the Jets game yesterday, and it just doesn't make much sense to me. Of course the most obvious reason they lost so badly is because they really had nothing to gain by winning so they kind of subconsciously coasted, and the Jets defense is actually THAT good that it just was indeed THAT dominant.

But then I got thinking. Palmer threw for 0 yards and Ochocinco uncharacteristically dropped all passes thrown to him. After the game he did everything but toss Revis' salad. Brad Smith looked amazing and the offense torched the Bengals.

Does anyone think it is possible that the star Bengals players purposely played badly? I mean Revis is an amazing player who regulary shuts down great players. Wouldn't it be genius for Ochocinco to play possum and fake humbleness? Isn't it a bit peculiar that Carson Palmer completed 1 pass for 0 yards? I do believe the Jets D is really good, but maybe the Bengals had a plan all along. We will see I suppose. Either the Bengals are geniuses or they are going to get massacred.

NBA Jam: A Retrospective-Eastern Conference Part 2

Rony Seikaly/Harold Miner: If you were a youngster during this era you would probably think that Rony Seikaly was the funnier of the two names here. However, Rony had a pretty ok career. He averaged 14 pts and 9 rebounds throughout his career, pretty ok but not video game star good. On top of that he married a swimsuit model and resembles an enemy from "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2". That let's him make my list based on ridiculousness alone. Harold Miner on the other hand was labeled "Baby Jordan" coming out of college. Based on his career numbers, this would only be an accurate nickname if the plot of "Like Mike" was based on the real story of Harold Miner. He was drafted 12th overall and averaged 9 points a game in a 4 season career. On a positive note, he did have the best dunks with no one guarding him.

Derrick Coleman: Coleman was a legit star so he only made the list because of his behavior issues. This is all from memory so I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure he had a sneaker deal, was featured in NBA Jam, and pushed as the Nets big star at the time. He was fat, lazy, and got into huge feuds with other stars. I remember him calling Karl Malone an "Uncle Tom" in the 90's during the peak of their feud. In Coleman's defense, Karl Malone is a really confusing public figure, I am not sure about Uncle Tom, but his life mirrors white trash more than it does a black guys problems. Besides his feuds Coleman was arrested several times for ridiculous issues. He urinated publicly, cursed cops out when they stopped him for an alcohol test, went to jail for traffic violations, and was in a terrible accident where he almost went to jail for drunk driving but got off due to a mistrial. Coleman was a real gem.

Scott Skiles/Jeff Hornacek: These guys weren't bad, but just boring white guys. I believe Scott Skiles still has the single game assists record, and Horncek played on the Utah Jazz where he was the second best white guy. At the end of the day they make the list cause they were boring white guys in an arcade basketball game.

Western Conference up next.



Update 11:01AM Derrick Coleman also went Bankrupt and now runs a sneaker store in Detroit.

NBA Jam: A Retrospective-Eastern Conference Part 1

This blog entry began with a conversation with my good friend Ryan. I was trying to come up with a list of the greatest NBA sidekicks of all time, and Ryan said "Look at the NBA Jam roster." At the time this sounded like a real money idea, but rather than a list of great sidekicks I found a list of the most undeserving people to ever be featured in a video game. Sure, there were plenty of stars in the game but NBA Jam is still to this day the defining NBA arcade game, so some of these players I cannot help to laugh at. I will look at the top undeserving players (From the SNES/Genesis versions since that is what most of us remember).

Stacey Augmon: I put this name first because when I was an asshole little kid I got a Stacey Augmon card that was shiny and got excited. Why? Because he was a player in NBA Jam!! I didn't know any better then, and girl name went on to average 8 points a game for his career.

Dee Brown: From Wikipedia - "One of the highlights of his career occurred in 1991, when he won the NBA Slam Dunk Contest with a "no-look" slam dunk." I would like to nominate this as possibly understatement of the decade. Other career highlights include being a starter for 2 seasons and coaching 2 WNBA teams. While I am glossing over that point, I do indeed find it hilarious that he coached in the WNBA.

Brad Daugherty: Ok, Brad was pretty good. He averaged 19 points a game in his career. I only added him to the list because he looks like Scottie Pippen and Frankenstein had a child.






















Derrick McKey: Ok, another guy who had an OK career, but in perspective he was drafted before Reggie Miller and then went on to become his sidekick.

















Brad Lohaus and Blue Edwards: This is possibly my favorite video game tandem ever in any game. How is it possible at any given time for any franchise that guys named Brad and Blue would represent your team in a major video game? Brad Lohaus scored 3,854 career points, Blue Edwards 7,585, a combined total only slightly greater than Derrick McKey. "Blue" is never the name of a leading man. The only acceptable uses of the word "Blue" are the following: Side kick, Chess champion of the park that feeds the birds, and a dog.


Ok part 2 of the Eastern Conference is "coming soon".

Haven't blogged in like a week

I am the worst. Sorry to the 3 people who read my blog.

Anyway, tip of the week. Download Chrome Beta, the extensions are pretty sweet. Google is taking over the world.

Also, Bret Hart has to be the man of the week. Wrestling is so sad now a days. That is all I have, I suck.

Random crap/Tiger Woods

I haven't been blogging at all lately, because of laziness, that is the Kenny staple so here is a few tidbits.










Ok, this has been talked about from every angle, and I know this is not a fresh concept to write about, but how horrendous is Mindy Lawton? I believe Tiger's wife can probably deal with the sheer number, but if this woman isn't proof that Tiger had some type of sex addiction, I don't know what it is. Maybe she had some "tricks up her sleeve" that the others girls don't.

Today is fucking cold in New York, my hands felt like they were going to shatter. I am so sick of people referencing global warming every time there is a major weather shift. I mean I have never talked to anyone I can trust that actually knows anything about the weather. Everyone is an expert in everything because of second hand information. I don't want your medical advice because you read Web MD and I don't want your weather advice because you saw Al Gore do a powerpoint. Nothing is worse than a person who starts out a sentence "Actually..." and then spouts off something they read on the internet or saw in a movie.

Baseball is making me sick. As much as I love the Mets and want them to win, the Yankees trade for Curtis Granderson, and the Mets giant offer to Jason Bay make me sick. I just finished reading "The Jordan Rules" which Ryan let me borrow, and it made me pretty sentimental. It made me realize how basketball is the ultimate team game. Then all of these deals pop up and it just makes you realize how baseball is not at all a team game. Baseball is a sport where the sum of it's parts makes up how great a team is, and with a climate where a few teams have all the money, how could that ever be fair/interesting? I will still love going to games and supporting my team, but in the end it kind of makes me sick.

Quote of the day

"I used to drink Hennessy ... at halftime," Artest says in the interview, which hits newsstands this week. "I [kept it] in my locker. I'd just walk to the liquor store and get it."

-Ron Artest

The Onion is the best

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Check it out

I can't stand Jay Cutler's

Stupid diabetes face.

Why I cannot watch "Flash Forward"

People are telling me this is a "great show" , and that I would love it because I love "Lost". But to me, I almost don't want to watch this out of principle. Sure it can be great, but it is called "Flash Forward". It is like the execs got together and said, "Hey, people are dumb and love 'Lost' and they Flash Forward in that so let's create a show called 'Flash Forward' and they will watch it!"

It would be like flashing back to when "Knight Rider" went off the air, and they said, "Hey, let's create a new show called 'Talking Car' to replace Knight Rider."

So in conclusion, I am boycotting this show until it gets to season 4, if it doesn't get there, then I was right.

Random thoughts..

Haven't blogged for awhile so here is a few random things on my mind

-Recently Sharon Osbourne got into some controversy by saying Susan Boyle looks like a smacked ass on the "Opie and Anthony Show" on Sirius XM Radio. Who cares? Why can't we acknowledge that Susan Boyle is famous because she is ugly? Sure she can sing ok, but there are tons of people like her that are not famous. Her gimmick is being ugly, and she went on a show in hopes to be famous. I hate this countries fake outrage at things.

-Sammy Sosa is now a white man. Google it, they are great pictures.

-People walked out of Carnegie Hall on Tracy Morgan for making obscene jokes. How do people pay for a comedy show to see Tracy Morgan and not know what he does on a stage? He is one of the most offensive comedians of all time. Ugh. Love this blurb from dlisted.com:

According to Gatecrasher, people started fleeing the theater only a few minutes into Tracy's show. Many middle-aged women ran home to fuck their ears with holy water-laced bars of soap after Tracy began making jokes about porn, drugs and gays. When Tracy joked that Obama and Michelle will have the first presidential sex tape out, some of the audience members gasped.

-I hate Yankees fans calling the Yankees the World Champions. Who did they play outside of America? Do the Toronto Blue Jays constitute the rest of the world? I'd like to see them play the Japanese champion. Matsui would be so confused.

-The iPhone has 100,000 apps. Congrats to him, that is what is important, the sheer number of applications on a device.

-NFL prediction: I think by the end of December the Titans will not be out of the playoff picture.

Who is buying this?

Who the hell are the people buying Oven Baked Sandwiches from Dominos? It isn't like sandwiches are expensive. This is not a good deal, and I am pretty sure they are disgusting. At best they are average so I believe Dominos is misleading their customers by calling them "Oven Baked Treats."

Even the worlds best sandwich I would not classify as a treat. Treats are things like candy and blowj's, sandwiches are food. I guess they can't say "No Tricks, Just Mediocre Sandwiches."