Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Awkward Elevator Talk




















I was on the elevator yesterday, and I know this horse has been beaten to death by now, but elevator talk really annoys me. These days, everyone has some form of personal entertainment. You can listen to your iPod, read email on your phone, whatever. 

There is no need to establish that we both conceptually understand weather and seasonal patterns. Yes, it is true weird hispanic elevator guy, I hope it is not this cold in March too, and it is possible, and there have been cold March's in the past. You are also correct in your assessment that it could even be cold in April leading all the way up to Easter. This is all true, and I commend you for your understanding of seasons, but when you stepped on the elevator wearing your slick Corona jacket, and Barack Obama commemorative pin, I knew you were an intellectual. You did not have to prove it to me. 

I never understood banter about the weather. If you are going to address a stranger, at least make a bold move, take a leap of faith, and bring up sports, television or politics. At least your bold assumption should spark some interest. I would think, "Do I really look like a guy who cares about Nate Robinson winning the Slam Dunk Contest?"

Or better yet, maybe you should bring up the great moment in television history where Coach Hayden Fox was promoted to head coach of the Orlando Breakers. A position he worked hard for and earned right before our eyes on network television. Or the moment when Lisa Turtle and Screech Powers touched ours souls when they marched to victory in the Max dance off using the sprain. I know it makes no sense to bring these things up in a blog about talking to people in elevators, but that is exactly why it would make intriguing elevator conversation. So weird hispanic elevator guy, I anxiously await our in depth conversation on the career of Hayden Fox. 

2 comments:

Ryan said...

Better fit - Hayden Fox coaching the Dillon Panthers or Coach Taylor coaching the Screaming Eagles? Maybe Julie Taylor can go to Minnesota state and be creeped out by Luther Van Dam and Dauber. Or what about Coach Fox getting outfoxed by Buddy Garret by bringing in Ray "Voodoo" Tatum?

Afif said...

One time it was raining and a black man came up to me and he said "did you ever notice how brothers hate the rain?"